Our Vain Existence
Updated: Jan 1
Our vain existence mocks us and others who conflict and confront the pompous realities. Despite the mocking, I persevered.
I have always been unapologetically outspoken and passionate. For as long as I realized I had a voice, I have used it. Sometimes my tone is perceived as harsh. Anyone who truly knows me knows empathy is practiced, as is being straightforward, blended with asking poignant questions to guide people to figure out their paths. Years ago, I began practicing forgiveness and peace through meditation Those characteristics are a foundation for my core values. Occasionally, I am required to speak with appropriate restraint, and do so within boundaries of those values. In a few instances, when speaking from that core, some question my intentions, integrity and ability to emote empathy. In case you are one of those people who question if my values are in line with actions of putting toxic people curbside, this is for you. In striving all my life towards a peaceful existence, I have, in the historic and recent past, purposefully removed myself from parents, family, friends, an ex-husband, former co-workers and siblings, all of whom exuded toxicity and of which I take my share of responsibility for not understanding how to be my best self while presiding within mutual company. I post about my personal and professional lives, which brings opinions of my life that I am somehow held to an unrealistic standard of perfection because I work as a healer. News flash: True healing is often necessarily uncomfortable for true growth to emerge. This lack of comfort is why there are people such as me to guide people through their fiery baptisms. If life was comfortable no one would need healers because their would be zero pain. Some people have suggested in the past and recently that my sometimes lack of tact is less than professional or empathetic. Another news flash: business is fine and I have plenty of friends. So if my light shines too bright or, if in your process of life you advise me to tune down, back down or stand down and masquerade through life in the masks you wear in order to continue to prevent looking at your true self in the mirror, I have a response: Nah, I'm good. Unfriend me, as my friend Dan Lorinitis would say. I am grateful for the opportunities presented me to speak the truth, have a voice and unmask injustices. I am beyond grateful to be entrusted with confidences, life stories and will continue to lead my family, friends and clients with the integrity, compassion and lack of tact they've come to expect of me. Self included, none of us are perfect. I forgive those who have belittled, betrayed and begrudged me. I apologize when appropriate. When I feel you are misguided, I will tell you so. I take very seriously the responsibility of a public platform, especially the social media age, where court of public opinion holds much weight. I take very seriously the responsibility bestowed upon me as a healer, mom, wife, friend and confidant- in no particular order. It was from this code of integrity that I once surrendered to have the backs of others, vowing to have my own back, first, so I can carry the torch and lead the way to help others find their lights. I have not always walked in the light. Having told my own suicide story, many know for many years I was blinded in the darkness intensely curated at the hands of those I was dependent on trusting most. Within that leg of the journey, my fight to fiercely protect a defensive structure that protected me from my own fears, guilt and patterns of self destruction. It was a necessary shield to bare for survival. The war I fought for years was to plant my feet firm in existential existence. What I know now that I didn't know then is, it was and is a war with the self. War, as we know, can never be won. The end result is self-loathing, pity and mortal destruction of the mind, body and spirit - and sometimes soul. My own fiery baptisms taught me to quickly put out fires before the cinders of the soul perished. Much time spent in self-love and appreciations, meditation and care are the only reason I still exist in this form today. This healing has intensifed through mutual support of family and friends who time and time again, sift through the embers to restore me anew. The connection to my community I continue to nurture, continues to allow me to serve them justly and provides a collective embrace which echoes into my Divine-driven purpose. For the few who my brand coexistence fails to please, I forgive you, too. I am not for everyone. Neither are you, but you are to your people and I am to mine. There is enough love for us all. To appreciate that love you must first love yourself. Love is that light I speak of. We can shine a light and hold a hand and sometimes carry people through the fire. We cannot make them heal. That is on them. If your first aid and assistance is met with disappointment, lack of compliance and distress, these aren't your people or you're not theirs. If you are with your people and you EXPECT them to save you, you'll never make it out alive, until you resuscitate your soul. The trials and tribulations of my life have been plentiful. Some years, it's like they never end. My ability to focus on the three gratitudes, daily, set the tone for each day to shine with the light I need to see myself through the darkness. Yes, I am human. I still have days which darkness shows in the horizon. I no longer beckon and will it. I work daily to be of light. Fun fact: Nora means light in Greek, Arabic and Aramaic. I was born to be who I am today. Make no mistake, I maintain boundaries amidst transparency. I hide nothing from myself, or from others. I show up real and long for the connection and humanization which exists beyond the fears that leave us stagnant in the comfort zone. When I become defensive it is driven from a place of experience that not everyone is trustworthy. I will always respond with empassioned empathy or raw realism, depending upon what is warranted. I see now, so very clearly, this is the path for me. It is born of love of self, family and community. This capacity for love is and was my vulnerability. I believe that this is ultimately what awakens the soul to its existence, enlightenment and relief from suffering. I understand that there are some of you that feel uncomfortable with who I am and with the choices I make...it is the part of you that seeks to impose your views as THE WAY. I completely relate to this part of you. For years t could not see past my pain and see my oart in it, hence my past suicide attempts. I also have come to understand that I have no way of knowing what is right for anyone else, not for anyone beyond myself. I do my best to constrain my guidance, then, to those who request it, engage in potential life-changing dialogue. Everything feels far more peaceful this way. It's how it should be. It is precisely why I am successful. Now that you understand my rules, proceed to like, love, laugh, be angry or in aww or unfriend/block, or book an appointment, if so moved. I will never promise you desired results. I will lead and support you as you venture into your own fiery baptism, remove your masks and prove to yourself you are worth the effort. And I will do so with the appropriate real and raw empathy I see fit, despite either's vain existence.